im so down

i am so down. what should i do? what kind of person i am actually. why do i always feel this kind of things. i feel sick of being hurt like this. this pain i kept inside really make me suffer lots. how i wish to tell and share with you guys about her.. sigh. i guess im too greedy.. thats why i always got punished. Thanks to my very dear bestfriend, which is you bloggg! for always letting me write about this devastated feelings inside. although its just alittle, but i feel relieved.. sighh. whats with my life? ;]

i leave my sadness alone

ohh.. hello. :)
it's me again. haha.. <3 okay.. what to share this time.. ermm.. hei remembered that time i used to be sad cus of something? guess what, now? i dont. haa. i lied.. lol.. ahh. to be honest, i am more devastated than before. because i just can't believed it happened again. however, thank God this time i made a right decision to take my leave first. ohh, yeah. i am not trying to go back to my sadness time again, but im just sharing with you about how i feel that time. emm. truly, at the first day of leaving really like? im so lost. although i have bunch of friends with me that time. i still felt cold inside. which aching my heart so much. i wish to share with peoples about it, but i just dont want to give burden to my dear friends, yet also dont want to trouble them with my business. so yeah by then, i rather keep in it with myself. to fake a smile from outside really suffering me. Gosh, really.. like if just i can put a smily mask with me. i'd be so thankful. Lol. as day by day pass by, i finally like okaay lah.. you know, just tried to accept the fact and leave the sadness alone. what's the point of thinking about something which doesn't worth. what's the point of putting hope on something that won't come back. So i decided to leave my sadness alone for now. not behind , not in the pass but alone. " i leave my sadness alone "

january ends

helo back blogger !
awhh. well, nothing much happened nowadays.. its just me like as usual sitting, drinking, chatting and enjoying my day by myself. you know recently my life is getting so much better. but not really that " better " but yeaah.. what a life. ignored me people. im just mumbling about crap right here. haha. ohh yeahh.here's some pictures of my niece batrisya. it's shot by me. so enjoyed them. :)

when heart asks too many questions

when this mind tells me to stop. i was like completely lose this healthy mind. as if i felt like this heart just stopped from pounding or something. everything turns out wrong to me.. i wished to stop.. i really cant bare this all alone. i never felt your sincere eversince im with you. Does he really want me as bad as i want him? why is that question always stuck on my mind. i always tried to make myself trust you again, but why you never statisfied and even didn't believed in me.. is this how the true relationship goes? i dont know. and why the hell should i know anymore..