Actually happy with my heart means of you to me, cause i made my self smile through make you smiles. :) emm.. theres a day when i always said to myself that i wont cry infront of her as she told me that she never like to see me cried. theres a day when i always said that i wont be annoying like a five-years old child. theres a day when i always said to my self that never let her see your pain. theres a day when i said to my self that dont hope too much on her. theres a day when i said to my self i dont mind of being hurt. theres a day that i said to my self that i would change my bad habits for you. theres a day that i said to my self that i will study hard for you. theres a day when i said to my self that i will learn to be a good person from now on.
because i dont mind for doing it all for you, maybe im not that good enough for you. i know that im just a ordinary girl who always make you angry or something? im sorry for being annoying this time. i thought that would make you laugh, but the fact is that its just make you distrubed. im sorry for always called you at the middle of the night, i thought that'd be sweet talking on the phone until mid-night, but the fact is that its just make you boring. im sorry for always asking you to come here, i thought that you come here due to you miss to meet me, but the fact is that youre just fulfill your promised. but no matter what, i never care cause to me at least i get to met you, at least i get to talk with you, at least i get to.... :).
im sorry i never tell this to you,i never mean to lie. im just afraid that if i do tell you, you'd felt guilty and will leave me so that i wont do those stuffs just for you anymore. im just afraid that you'd leave me and i just dont know what else to do. i dont know how to figure my way out if you leave me. maybe im just crazy or insane for being this way. funny? :')
im not sad and i never feel sad upon this. thus i never care for treated this way.. cause to me its okay though. for me youre just too Good enough for me, even if i cant have you but at least i can feel the care you shares with and its more than enough already.. sometimes i im just thinking about how come God made us meet? and maybe there's a reason why behind from that. so as i always said we just go with the flow starting from now, dont force our heart to love. because if we force thats not love we called. :) i care for you and you care for me.. thats enough for me already.. just dont forget me if you find your happiness oneday okay? :) i always prayed for your happiness, and i do hope one day you your dreams comes true. so yeeah.. hehe.. and as for me? well, no worries.. im fine with my own life like this, so yeah.........get to go, i'll continue next time.. ^^
